| There are plenty of reasons why some people might prefer to hibernate from mid-November through the beginning of January, and one of the biggest reasons is loneliness. Feeling lonely or down around this time of year is common and completely normal. If you’ve ever wondered why the holidays have this effect on people (perhaps including yourself) and are looking for strategies for dealing with seasonal loneliness, here are some insight that might help.
“How loneliness will feel and manifest will be unique to each of us,” Marian Grace Boyd says. Some examples include fatigue, anxiety, tension, isolation, melancholy, frustration, having no initiative or drive, procrastination, lacking self-confidence, finding it harder to make decisions, having less patience with family members, feeling empty, or feeling that things which once brought joy no longer do. Loneliness can also cause physical symptoms like headaches, tight shoulders, the feeling of a knot in your stomach, or an increase in self-medication with food, drugs or alcohol.
To those who have never experienced loneliness during the holiday season, even the possibility of facing unpleasant emotions during the so-called “most wonderful time of the year” seems far-fetched. Of course, in reality, it’s not, and there are several reasons for that:
- Not everyone feels loved and supported. The holidays are often hardest for those who don’t have family or a reliable support system, those whose loved ones are gone or whose families are estranged.
- There are too many triggers. One person’s source of happiness may be another person’s trigger. This is true year-round, but can be even more pronounced during the holidays.
- Expectations don’t usually match reality. For someone who experiences loneliness during the holidays, the constant barrage of commercials, decorations, and posts on social media depicting what this time of year is “supposed” to look like can also make things worse.
If you’re dealing with loneliness, know that there are coping strategies and general tips for making it through the holidays. Here are few that might help:
- Reimagine the holidays. Instead of stressing over a preconceived notion of what you think the holiday should be, focus instead on making it what you want it to be: a low-stress, enjoyable experience.
- Plan something to look forward to. Whether it’s spending time with your family, going on a holiday trip or taking a quiet time for yourself, connect to the spirit of holidays through activities that feel meaningful to you.
- Be kind to yourself. It’s okay to acknowledge that you feel frustrated or disappointed that you’re not able to experience the holidays the way you wanted them to be. Connect to your emotions, let them exist and release on their own.
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